It’s all so fresh. I try to keep a good poker face Mister, but sometimes it just isn’t possible. Last week, while pretending to feel normal at work, I talked about you. Later with the girls, I rambled a bit more. I will forever wonder if I did the right thing. Three days after you were gone I patted down the bed waiting for you to hop up, I forgot for a moment you wouldn’t be joining me. And I cried some more. I cried a lot that night.

We tried everything we could Harley. I solicited the best help I could find us. How could I fix you? How would I entice you to eat? I cradled you and smooched on you and hugged you until the moment the Vet came in to administer our Good Bye. It took less than 7 seconds. Seventeen years of life were over in 7 teensy~tiny seconds. Or sooner, I don’t even know now. You were peaceful in my arms Harley and we did it, you and I. Alone. Afterwards I panicked silently for a second while I stared at your sweet quiet face, Wait. Wait! WAIT! Surely we can fix you. I made a mistake! And that is the thing I will have to live with until this becomes easier to bear. As if….

What an impact you have made on my life.

You. Are. Missed.

* Harley and Sensi shared some floor space, years ago in our Las Vegas home, in hopes of some bonito flakes. Harley’s temperament changes from snappy to happy (turn up the volume!) with a couple crinkles of the bag.