When My Time Comes… revisited.

Gadora’s been making a good go of a great opportunity here in Austin — full-time work is hard, y’all — and sadly it has carved a little into some of my creative mojo at home. While I’m grateful to be exercising certain talents by designing the office’s downstairs lounge, and am proud of our big win at Lifeworks’ recent Home Improvement Challenge (story forthcoming), I find I miss writing. And certainly miss sweating in the shop every day.

I still manage the time to remember cantankerous Harley and the sweetest Peepers. 6 months later, I wrestle with knowing I did the right thing for them. Recently I snugged up on a spunky kitten, and then a perfectly healthy and quite OLD cat, and can’t help but feel We. Got. Robbed. They were supposed to live forever. My cousin is having a hard time with her 16-year-old Schnauzer. Bridgette is her only baby. And they’re dealing with aggressive melanoma. They still have time. My Cuz is relishing it, texted tonight to say Bridgette was enjoying the freedom of her new du. While it wouldn’t make her feel better, I admitted “it” doesn’t get easier once they’re gone. I wholeheartedly understand her. The loss of a pet is quite possibly the most difficult thing a (human) childless parent will face. You are NEVER prepared.

One never knows when the need to deal with a loss that big will come creeping up on you. In fact, I ruined a perfectly lovely concert at Austin’s recent ACL when Dawe’s belted out “When My Time Comes.”  The crowd sang. I did too. But I also cried. Harley hated that song. Well, maybe not the song so much as mine and the BFF’s rendition (we’re not about to try out for American Idol anytime soon). He’d follow us around the house and lunge for the jugular, or ankles, whatevs. Dawes was on the docket, and I knew they’d play it for us. I had to hear it. As if I needed a good excuse to cry in public, I relished this one.

That video was taken a few months before Harley died, yes I’ve posted before. I’ve regularly pondered since, if he knew his time was coming. Like an old married couple, he passed so quickly after his spouse—9 little days he survived without The Peeps. Gadora’s recent Puppy post prompted a dear reader to write. That made me happy. She’d previously read the post about my Harley. And my Peepers. And wondered how “I” was doing. I’m getting along ok Ann, I suppose, but I shared my ACL fit, I imagine she understands.

I miss you Mister Harley. More than I can ever properly express… I’m still so grateful for our seventeen years. Peeps, if we had a song, it would be this one… and I miss you too.

5 thoughts on “When My Time Comes… revisited.

  1. thanks so much my dear precious one…i wish i could say that it helps to know that i’m not alone in my pain, fear, dread… but nothing really helps right now. especially when people assume & say that because bridge and i have enjoyed almost 16 years together and because she lived a very happy life, i should be satisfied! no, i wanted her to live forever. silly me! i do try to focus on how much absolute JOY and unconditional love we’ve shared. i think we need “a song” as well. any suggstions? i always said “who let the dogs out?” was her favorite! hee-hee! love you so much!

Leave a Reply to lori Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s