It’s all so fresh. I try to keep a good poker face Mister, but sometimes it just isn’t possible. Last week, while pretending to feel normal at work, I talked about you. Later with the girls, I rambled a bit more. I will forever wonder if I did the right thing. Three days after you were gone I patted down the bed waiting for you to hop up, I forgot for a moment you wouldn’t be joining me. And I cried some more. I cried a lot that night.
We tried everything we could Harley. I solicited the best help I could find us. How could I fix you? How would I entice you to eat? I cradled you and smooched on you and hugged you until the moment the Vet came in to administer our Good Bye. It took less than 7 seconds. Seventeen years of life were over in 7 teensy~tiny seconds. Or sooner, I don’t even know now. You were peaceful in my arms Harley and we did it, you and I. Alone. Afterwards I panicked silently for a second while I stared at your sweet quiet face, Wait. Wait! WAIT! Surely we can fix you. I made a mistake! And that is the thing I will have to live with until this becomes easier to bear. As if….
What an impact you have made on my life.
You. Are. Missed.