It’s all so fresh. I try to keep a good poker face Mister, but sometimes it just isn’t possible. Last week, while pretending to feel normal at work, I talked about you. Later with the girls, I rambled a bit more. I will forever wonder if I did the right thing. Three days after you were gone I patted down the bed waiting for you to hop up, I forgot for a moment you wouldn’t be joining me. And I cried some more. I cried a lot that night.

We tried everything we could Harley. I solicited the best help I could find us. How could I fix you? How would I entice you to eat? I cradled you and smooched on you and hugged you until the moment the Vet came in to administer our Good Bye. It took less than 7 seconds. Seventeen years of life were over in 7 teensy~tiny seconds. Or sooner, I don’t even know now. You were peaceful in my arms Harley and we did it, you and I. Alone. Afterwards I panicked silently for a second while I stared at your sweet quiet face, Wait. Wait! WAIT! Surely we can fix you. I made a mistake! And that is the thing I will have to live with until this becomes easier to bear. As if….

What an impact you have made on my life.

You. Are. Missed.

* Harley and Sensi shared some floor space, years ago in our Las Vegas home, in hopes of some bonito flakes. Harley’s temperament changes from snappy to happy (turn up the volume!) with a couple crinkles of the bag.

4 thoughts on “Harley.

  1. Don’t torture yourself with 2nd guesses. You made the decision based on Harley’s best interests after watching him try to hang on when his body just wouldn’t let him. I think it was the right one for him but I know you miss him. The video captured his personality so well!

  2. Oh Gadora…..I cannot tell you how much I feel your pain. That short, tiny moment in time when I was hugging on my Bosley, telling him he was the best dog that walked the planet and I would see him one day again, is forever burned in my brain. As I write this, tears streaming down my face, my heart is with you.

    You did the most honorable and respectful thing that you could do for your very best friend.

  3. tears.

    seeing him suffer longer would have brought with it other regrets. try not to punish yourself over this. he had a love-filled, wonderful and very long life with you.

    love, a

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